Hate myself. My omegaklcc leo club has won top club. and top treasurer, whereby my boyfriend was outstanding treasurer. He did not go to meetings. I was the one always insisting on going. had to practically force him to go. And when I was the treasurer, our club was disqualified. I know I have always been lucky, and I am grateful for that. Actually this is just a very unsignificant thing. but I am very very disturbed by it. Could be probably due to the insecurities I am still having about the United States Clerkship application. I don't knnow if I will get, I still want to have an outstanding National thing to put on my Curriculum Vitae. I know my boyfriend will probably need it more that I do. But i felt i was unfair, as when i became the treasurer, i started from scratch as the previous treasurer gave me a bunch of rubbish accounts. After organizing everything, even though he took over my job, there weren't much done and i was the one always pushing it.
I am being so bitter and irritated. I know worse scenarios has happened to other before. but i felt really, really upset. I am waiting to find a day where someone will be my saviour. or the day where I can really, really practise what i preach, helping without expecting anything at all. literally.
Crying
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