Missing someone.....

I miss a person but i can't text nor call. Patience is virtue i guess..

Marriage

Lots of my colleagues, friends has been discussing this topic non-stop lately. It's like the only thing we ever actually talked about apart from how little time we have left to study for our finals. It is becoming the hottest topic second to the world cup of course.

Being in medical school and graduating as a doctor seem to be perceived by many that you will not have time to do any other things, let alone be in a relationship. Now, being in the final year, a lot of my colleagues seem to be planning their life around searching a life partner and wanting to settle down. Even though their still single. (o.o isn't it a plan that you are supposed to make with your partner??, how can you plan without having a bf/gf yet??).

I know, the perfect plan will be, get a bf/gf now, be in a relationship for the next 5 years (I am 24 now by the way), then get married, then have a baby right before the age of 30.

I felt that this is a very extremely unfair rule to women. I don't blame my friends for wanting to plan ahead, and to have a baby before 30. That would be an ideal plan if you want to have a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and a smooth labor.

But what about love? What if, when you are 29, you are with a guy that you weren't sure if you want to spend the rest of your life with him? What if, you are with a guy who doesn't want to be committed? Or with a guy who marries you because he felt that it's the right time due to the age factor?

What about our dreams? Things we want to pursue in our carrier? Sigh.

I just hope that, in the future, if I ever do get married, it has to be for the right reason. And not because I am 29.9 years old.

Oh and I would like to congratulate those couples who have already made plans to tie the knot. :D. Be grateful and always appreciate what you have.

p/s: I am still single and happy :D

Vulnerability

Today I had let myself feel hurt when my sms is not being replied. I had told myself and prepare myself to not let myself be in this situation. Looks like my self pep talk has failed. I totally deserved to feel this way by the way.

I have allowed myself to be vulnerable physically and emotionally. I have also allowed myself to completely distrust marriage.

I have heard some very disturbing news about a lecturer that I have respected for many years now. And this was from a close friend of mine.

The very first time I heard about this news, I was mildly surprised, and I was a bit unhappy with my friend honestly speaking.

Number 1: My friend does not know whether or not it is true even though she insisted that she is sure

Number 2: That lecturer has been really kind to us, has helped us throughout our tough journey in medical school, and has definitely saved many patient's life

Number 3: Even if the rumor does have some truth in it, it has nothing to do with me whatsoever.

Rumors are spread because there are audience who crave and listen to this type of news. Sad to say, Malaysians and IMU students are these audience.

What the lecturer does, whatever his needs is, does not affect his medical opinion, knowledge and his passion towards teaching and his patients. I honestly don't see what the big hu-ha is about and why do I need to be cornered by other fellow lecturers to confirm the details of it.

It is just like the not-so-recent happenings in the politics. What does anything that is done in his/her personal life has anything to do with work? If these rumors aren't encouraged, it would have just been a personal problem and not a national problem.

I would just like to urge everyone, rumors like this are meant to be listened and forgotten. If we are still just focusing our time, effort and brain cells thinking about rumors, we'll never progress further in other bigger and more important things. Then healthcare system will just be stagnant and ONE clinic will prevail.

Recent Happenings...

Many things have been happening these days. I hadn't been doing things that I used to believe that is morally correct. This is how pathetic I was.

Anyway, back to the recent happenings, I am now in my Medical Rotation. Can't say that I love it too much, but it was great and I definitely realized that surgery is the only thing that I would want to do. :D

In less than 2 months, I will be sitting for my End of Semester 9 exam. I hadn't revised any of the minor postings. Past year questions are being done really slowly due to my own procrastination.

I am more than halfway through my Semester 9 and I hadn't completed even 1/10 of the stuff I am supposed to cover for the USMLE(United States Medical Licensing Examination). That's how pathetic I am and how procrastination is killing me.

I have been swimming religiously and am really happy to say that, I can officially swim breast stroke and free style without anymore difficulty. Butterfly still takes up a lot of my arm strength and I hadn't learn backstroke. Am really happy with this improvement.. Just a bit disappointed that swimming doesn't help prevent osteoporosis. Which brings me to the yoga topic. I have been slacking in my Yoga. Now, after every Monday of the week when I did 10 Ashtanga Sun Salutation, I would experience extreme muscle ache on my back, shoulders and arms. I seriously need to get back to my routine.