Fate

My life has always been always about fate. Had I never went teaching in that music school , I would not have met my bf.

Why does some confessions comes when my heart is most vulnerable? And the painful truth comes out from that confession.

Why do we both have to be online at that wee hours in the morning? Sigh and I still acted so nonchalant when i received that news!

Life is full of CRAP sometimes

Obstacles

I am now in the library of IMU Seremban waiting for a miracle to happen.

Sometimes, I know I am just too greedy and hope for too much good luck to happen to me in order to fulfil my life long dream of becoming a surgeon. It seems like I am always in a rush and I always forget to pay attention to minute details. That's what's wrong with me.

Hence, now I can just wait, wait and wait. Holidays are starting soon. I can't wait to explore the sea and go scuba diving. Most unfortunately I had to miss the black eyed peas concert. I really, really wanted to go. I know. I can't have everything.

Accident and Emergency

I definitely love this posting. I just went on-call just now and did another suturing again! yay. It was a scalp laceration wound and blood spilled like a fountain, i think an artery was ruptured. Anyway, I asked permission to try to suture it(seems that I have a lot of luck with scalp lacerations) initially it was too superficial and later on the house officer who gave me a chance to suture continued it. I did one final suture at the end once the bleeding stopped. Oh and I also gave local analgesics. Sigh, I am still really not good at it. My hands were trembling even though this is like the 4th time I am doing suturing! I really should have better control over my hands.

It is now almost 1 am. And I have not completed half of my to-do list. Not to mention studying as well. View of my to-do list:

1. write letter to AAD and prof K to explain my absenteesim in Family Medicine Posting next year

2. Call my cfcs patient(which I totally forgot)

3. Check hostels available in New York for my stay after the elective and selective to prepare for step 2 CS. Sigh i really hope i have a free place to crash. I can't imagine how much the hostels are going to cost me

4. Determine how to write the research paper for publishing

5. Find the syllabus for the step 2 CS

6. Find books to use for step 2 CS

7. Print my plane ticket

8. Study for my elective and selectives

9. Study ophthalmology

10. Study emergency med

11. do poster. due this friday.

=.= 3 minutes elapsed after writing out this list.

I can't believe that I was convinced that I had to go scuba diving next week. and apparently I was supposed to relax. In Tioman

I can't believe I always put myself in such situation. It's like an almost impossible to-do list to complete all before this weekend.

I don't wanna bring any books to Tioman. I just wanna go there, relax, do more serious yoga, maybe explore more poses. and of course, learn diving.

Oh, forgot to mention that I went climbing last Sat and guess who I saw? Jacklyn Victor! Actually I already saw her a couple of weeks ago while climbing, and I think I kinda stared rudely till she noticed. Cos I weren't sure if she's really Jacklyn Victor. Anyway, I took a photo with her. Did I mention how much I love her voice and her songs. It's just incredible.

Updates...

Gosh seems that I hadn't updated this blog for ages. Also, it seems that this blog only gets updated when I am having exam :/

Anyway, starting from after exams. Basically, than

k god luckily I passed my EOS 7. Really grateful and thankful for that.

Immediately after that, I went Bali with my family.. and I finally, finally learned how to surf. It is like, I paid RM 50 and the guy will teach and stand right next to me till I am able to stand on the board.

And this was the result :

falling off.. pic caught by my sister

Finally! The thrill of controlling the board with my feet. The thrill of people seeing me reaching the shore and jumping off. Can't describe it. I so have to go surfing again. Of course, I also injured my hand as I did a stupid thing by not handling the board well and it bang against me with the high wave in bali. :'(. Untill now still having pain in my metacarpals. Also, bruises everywhere on my knees and shin.

Other parts of bali are just simply indescribable with words. Pics available on FB.

Immediately after that, like a matter of 2 days, Ophthalmology( Eye) posting started. I was super duper confused with all the terms. And till now, I haven't properly sit down and study.

After that, comes the great MIMSC 2009(1st Malaysian International Medical Students' Conference). I was the subcommittee in Kajen's team.

Last thursday, we drove to Palace of the Golden Horses, the place we're staying throughout the conference. That night, we had this joint committee meeting and it only ended at 4 am. Sigh.

The next day, I got up at 7.45. Apparently C L woke me at 7.15 but I totally didn't know and woke at 7.45 with a start. THE BUS IS LEAVING AT 8 FOR THE KL TOUR! I just quickly got ready, had breakfast and ran down.

At the end, the bus left at 9. Some of the international delegates were late. Anyway, we visited Putrajaya, which was great for me cos i hadn't gone there before. After that, we went to the independence square, some batik place and the Royal Selangor pewter factor. After that, we went KLCC. By that time, it was already 3.30 pm and it was time to go back and get ready for the opening ceremony. Opening ceremony was held in Saloma restaurant. Again, photos will be uploaded in FB

The next day, was the scientific presentation where I was supposed to present my Wiki research paper. Which turned out really sucky i think. Aih, never mind, the experience was gained. Hopefully I learned my lesson.

That night was also the banquet dinner which Kajen has assigned me, LY and PF to organize. It was really cool, we got to use the walkie talkie and stuff. Anyway, i hoped everyone enjoyed the dinner. It was really great with the Lions dance and all the performance thanks to chester. Oh, and amazingly, I broke my new heels that night from running up and down with the high heels and cheongsam. and the worse, I had to perform with the violin on the stupid broken heels. I can't imagine how awkward i looked on stage. Hopefully the playing was ok.

After that, that night, we had to prepare the certificates for the participants to give to them the next day.

The next day was the workshop day.. which was also another rushed day. After the workshop and forum comes the closing ceremony. After that, it was the night tour around KL, which was kinda disappointing cos the tour guide just left us at bukit bintang to walk for 2 hours. :/. Nevertheless I had a really great time getting to know new people. Again, photos on FB heheh.

Sorry for such a long post

Crying quietly in my heart

is the only thing i know how to do properly now