PORTFOLIO

Every group argument, every unhappiness, greed, selfishness are exposed in this 6 months because of the single word above.

I have held it in. Every single time a person complains about it, I told myself, no. I'm not going to complain. This is what I've always wanted to do. I will do it well.

But now, it's official. I can't hold it in anymore.

PORTFOLIOSSS. I HATE YOU!!!!

I wanna throw a tantrum. Like the kid, one of my colleague's patient in the ward. I want to throw all the toys given to me. I wanna shout, scream and cry like a baby.

Sigh. The best I can get now is just to roll around my bed and scream and shout. I WANNA GO HOME!!!

Arrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There. I am just like everyone else now. Complain. Complain. Complain.

Portfolio I wanna ignore you now. I wanna watch my drama. BLEEEKKKKKKK. Don't wanna care about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:'(. I'm so gonna repeat another 6 months in Batu Pahat. Shit

The end of 2010

In less than a week, I would be saying goodbye to the year 2010!

Well.. this year have been a great year as usual. Though I had to say, crying episodes have increased.

I am at a changing point now where my location for the next 2-5 years would be roughly undecided.

Well, it was a mixture of extreme happiness and extreme sadness I would say I think. I had a superb Christmas, probably one of the best I have ever had :)..

This 2011, I wish I would be another year wiser. I may not be the best person in the world, but I want to do good and I hope I will.

I want to be happy, do things I love to do, and still maximize my time for beneficial things that is purposeful.

This point of time, is also the first time I am considering a non-surgical career. I was beginning to think I don't want to be married to my job. I remembered a pediatrician from Thomas Jefferson University that came to IMU. I was asking him about the lifestyle of his job and surgical stuff. I remembered vividly what he told me. He said," if you still want to be able to go skiing and jungle-trekking, this is the job for you. "

I want to go surfing. I want to go for a yoga retreat. I want to go scuba diving. I still want to teach music.

Maybe sometimes the most miniscule and insignificant reason for doing something would simply be the main reason why some people does things. Of course, considering the fact that I did not do well for my USMLE means I am probably not mentally capable of undertaking the mentally and physically challenging job?

Oh well.. I'll cross the bridge when I reach it.

Anyway, Happy 2011!!! :)

Predictable life

I wanna do something out of the ordinary. Before I surrender my 2 years of life to the ministry of health. I want to go Bali and surf again. It's been more than a year ago.. Am I still able to do it? I sure wish I can! and my sister would take a picture of me surfing towards the shore again..(Oopps she's halfway across the world.. sigh I miss her)

I guess it depends on my financial situation in April.

Gahhh I cannot believe I am pondering for so long over where to choose for Housemanship!! Sigh I've always make quick decisions. :(

Kl Hospitals

Pros

1. Able to stay home- also there's quite a few of them, sungai buloh, selayang, ummc, GH

2. Able to be in KL in case of any USMLE stuff that needs me to go to the embassy

3. Able to continue my music classes.( who knows? I mean, nobody thought that I'll still teach in my final 6 months right?)

4. Able to write the probable best management plan for the patient

5. Able to stay close to family right now as my sis is not here and I might be going away far and a long time

6. Personal reasons

7. Duh , im a city girl

Cons

1. Unable to do any procedure at all(then again, this is only what i've heard, maybe if im aggressive enough, I might be able to beg for 1 or 2)

2. Being a clerk. I would probably still be at the medical student level. May not be in part of the management plan at all.

Non- KL Hospitals

Pros

1. able to do more procedures

2. able to do more procedures

COns

1. conditioning to probable poor management

2. not staying home

3. can't teach anymore :(

4. list goes on and on

Sigh I guess the choice is obvious.

Guardian

I need to be my own guardian angel. :'(