me and Alan(renal fellow)
The whole team!
me and Harshal11:13 AM
4:46 PM
2:15 PM
9:09 PM
12:27 PM
10:09 AM
11:55 AM
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Summary of urology rotation
Monday : Rounds at 7 am(arrive by 6.30 am to get charts and vitals)
Surgery 7.30am - 5 pm
Tuesday : Same
Wednesday: Rounds at 6 am(arrive by 5.30 am to get charts and vitals)
Weekly conference at 8 am
Clinic at 9 am till 1 pm or later
surgery till whenever
Thursday: Rounds at 6 am(arrive by 5.30 am to get charts and vitals)
Weekly quiz on powerpoint presentation at 8 am
surgery till whenever
Friday: Similar to Mondays
Sat, Sunday: FREE!
My summary of the 4 days in Kidney and Pancreatic Transplant
1st day: Rounds at 7 am
Self reading on cytomegalovirus
Rounds at 12.30 pm with the attending
Liver recipient meeting at 4.30 pm
2nd day: Rounds at 7am(arrive by 6.30 to get vitals)
Scrubbed in on my first Kidney Transplant
Watched 2nd kidney transplant for the day
Surgery finished at 9pm
3rd day: Rounds at 7 am
Scrubbed in on a exploratory laparotomy to find primary carcinoid tumor(was asked by the surgical onco team to go scrub cos there weren't enoughs students) - it was GREAT!
Went home at 4.30 pm. Tried to go see the christmas lighting ceremony at rockefellar center but i can't even enter the 49th Street :(
4th day: Rounds at 7 am
Scrubbed in on a Hyperthermic something something. basically it's a surgery that gives direct chemotherapy into the peritoneum. It was cool! FInished at 3 pm. Had lunch.
Went to check some vitals, then watched another transplant.. finished at 9 pm. Was told there was a procurement tonight!!!!
Ate dinner, went home to sleep for half an hour, went to the ER at 11.30 pm. Got on the Ambulance to this hospital. Arrived at 12.45 am. waited. waited. waited. The time now is 4 am. Still no procurement
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Feeling stupidI felt really stupid sometimes. And I have a feeling that I am going to feel that way many times in the future no matter how much I study(even though it isn't much) Anyway today was a great and exciting day. Oh, just to explain a bit, I am currently now in the 2nd rotation in Mount Sinai, Kidney and Pancreatic transplant. It was a great first 2 days. I have met the director of the transplant department, attended rounds, attended a liver recipient meeting, attended a lecture and watched 2 kidney transplant. Scrubbed in on one of them even. It was great.Sometimes, it is not what you love doing makes you feel good/great but it is the people you meet on the way. So happen that I met my housemate's boyfriend whom I have spoken to previously on the transplant team as well. He was really, really nice and is a very, very enthusiastic student. Am really glad as he showed me around, told me what to do, and that I could give my numbers to the fellows so that they can call me if there's any procurements. I am really excited and can't wait to go for a procurement. This is the first time i met such an enthusiastic student and I definitely have a lot to learn from himAlso, another good news was that the resident I met today was really nice and really do give encouragement to me regarding the residency application. Turned out that I met quite a lot of people from general surgery. I just really, really hope that I can get a position, and hope that I pass my CS, and get a way way better score for my CK and Step 3. *fingers crossed* wish me luck!I will continue to be strong, always be upbeat and happy. and grateful of course.
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Letting go...
Finally. After few months of being physically alone but not literally alone, I have finally broken free and am literally single now.
I have been wanting this for a long time, but now that it finally happened, I just felt that I am not as sad as I was supposed to be. Maybe I haven't allow myself to feel it just yet, but right now, I feel free.
It's not that I don't love him you know, but the thing is, I can't see our future together right now. I mean, we're not going to be physically together for the next 4 years, and I and pretty sure after that if I do get a residency in the States(which is all I ever wanted right now) we are not going to be physically together for the next 10 years.
I will be 33 by then.
I thought we can do this, but looks like we can't. Maybe not in this life cause we want different things.
Anyway, I finally feel like I am able to breathe again. Thank you and thank god for the brazillian girl i met here, she's so supportive and I am going to miss her so much in the next rotation.
Oh yeah, and a bit of update here in the States. Everything's been great, it's getting colder and colder, but I am adapting so it's all good. I love the hospital, was a bit disappointed that they did not have any foreign medical graduates here at all doing residency, but I am still going to try!
Did not do any studying at all :(. Have been too excited watching and scrubbing in on surgeries and visiting New York City. I really think, this can be the place for me. Let's just see what happens.
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Being a foreign student..It is definitely a hard thing. It is not an excuse to now know your way around. Not an excuse to not know what are things called even though you are in a different country.I am not complaining as I know that this is what I am in for. I know it's going to happen. I just don't understand why some other students feels differently. That they do not deserve to be treated this way. Sigh. I thought that the elective was quite fine till they were complaining. THEN, I had second thoughts. But then, I vowed to do better, I want to be better and prove them wrong. I want to learn to be more cool and chill. I don't want to be angry for petty reasons as it is just bad for me. Anyway all this incident reminded me for the frog story Dr. L once told us. That being deaf could be good at times. And I am still hoping that I will never ever be late. It's like a wish that has not come true sigh.
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Manhattan, New YorkAmazing, busy, beautiful, shopping heaven. What else can I say? I just still can't really entirely believe I am here and so happy now. Okay I realized I haven't been blogging for a while now, so just an update.Oh yes, the letter. Received it on the morning at 3 am on the day that I was leaving, which was the 30th October 2009. Phew. Apparently the firewall in the New York State Education Department blocked all my attachment and hence it didn't went through. Anyway, i faxed the documents over and then she finally sent the letter to me. Anyway, flight was really fast, i was just sleeping the whole way to Amsterdam and from Amsterdam to NYC I just watched The Time Traveller's Wife, and slept a while, and then ARRIVED!The first week just flew by, everything's great here.. I am able to scrub in and help a little in the morning rounds, though it was really too fast to understand anything. Am now in Urology.. things have been interesting.. though i have to say the most exciting things are really the shopping..Have been to the empire state building, some museums, central park, times square, broadway, basically all the pictures are on fb. I have bought so many things and there are so many places that I am planning to go still.. will try to keep things updated. Haven't been studying much though..
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Letter of EligibilityAm going to have the exam for all my minor postings next coming Friday. Trust me, that is not even close to the real worries that I have right now. Am still really highly stressed about not receiving my Letter of Eligibility now. Not even all the crazy dancing done yesterday give any help. I know I should stop worrying about it. but I really can't help thinking about it. And I am now worrying about a lot of things, how to impress people so I could get a good letter of recommendation, how to finish reading the things needed for the electives and how am I going to pass the Step 2 CS, worried about how cold is it going to be in New York, and how am I going to manage. Okay. After publishing this post, I will stop worrying, I will be confident, and do my best. Have faith in myself. Letter will come in time, I will be able to pass my minor posting exam, I will be able to pack everything without forgetting any, I will be able to withstand the cold weather, I will be able to study well, impress people, and pass my step 2 CS exam. Sorry to the readers who has to listen to my self talk
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