4 years

is it really happening ? is he coming?

4 years

It's really long :(

what i want

i wish so so so hard you're here

i wish so so so hard you'd tell me over and over again you love me

i wish so so so hard that every time i said four years is too long you'd tell me you'll try over and over again to come here

I wish 

I wish that i will never regret it if i cannot have a child after waiting for so long and hope i will not be upset for the rest of my life

i wish so so so hard that my honey is here

I wish so so hard that my honey understands why waiting for 4 years is so so hard

i wish that every time i tell him this he doesnt say that i want to break up. Cos it makes me feel that he could break up so easily with me. Despite me saying so many times that i'd never ever wanna break up with him

Now my tummy is hurting from crying and i wish my honey is here. 

But he's not

Doesnt seem to feel that 4 years is hard for him

If he can ask me to break up so easily with him, does it mean he just doesnt care?

That'll just crush me

:'(

why ? why say i chose this life because i want to be a surgeon? If you are here right now we could have a family. It isn't my choice that you arent here. It isnt my choice that you already have kids either.

I accepted you for who you are but you say that i chose this path because i want to be a surgeon. That i will only have a late family. I love you, I choose you. So that means i choose to have a late famiily because you just cant come now? 

I love you honey 

I hope you will one day understand how i feel