Numb from stress

Ok.. I just paid another 350 US dollar for a clerkship that I felt that i really, really may not get.

SIGH

Why are the registration fee so expensive?? I am feeling distressed now. I am not going to be in my final year during the clerkship period that I have applied. and yet, I have paid 350 US dollar to register for it.

I mean my dad paid.

I still haven't gotten any reply from Mount Sinai.

And may still apply to a few more to try my luck.

Will I ever run out of luck.?

I just spent almost 4 hours trying to complete the whole form, I have tried my very best to get recommendation letters from lecturers, I have tried searching in the site to see how much does the registration fee cost. And it wasn't mentioned anywhere, hence I thought it may be free, like Cleveland clinic.

Until the last page of the online application form only i realised, the fee is 350 US dollar. Am I an idiot or what?

Now I don't know if I should try to apply for cleveland when the dates are so clearly unsuitable. do i change my flight? and spend a few more thousand?

Sigh i wish i could just skip this period of uncertainty.