Letting go...

Finally. After few months of being physically alone but not literally alone, I have finally broken free and am literally single now.

I have been wanting this for a long time, but now that it finally happened, I just felt that I am not as sad as I was supposed to be. Maybe I haven't allow myself to feel it just yet, but right now, I feel free.

It's not that I don't love him you know, but the thing is, I can't see our future together right now. I mean, we're not going to be physically together for the next 4 years, and I and pretty sure after that if I do get a residency in the States(which is all I ever wanted right now) we are not going to be physically together for the next 10 years.

I will be 33 by then.

I thought we can do this, but looks like we can't. Maybe not in this life cause we want different things.

Anyway, I finally feel like I am able to breathe again. Thank you and thank god for the brazillian girl i met here, she's so supportive and I am going to miss her so much in the next rotation.

Oh yeah, and a bit of update here in the States. Everything's been great, it's getting colder and colder, but I am adapting so it's all good. I love the hospital, was a bit disappointed that they did not have any foreign medical graduates here at all doing residency, but I am still going to try!

Did not do any studying at all :(. Have been too excited watching and scrubbing in on surgeries and visiting New York City. I really think, this can be the place for me. Let's just see what happens.