Hurt.

I didn't know it can hurt so bad at places I don't even know exist

Sometimes, being able to let go of something makes you seem a little cruel but it makes your life easier.

Unfortunately, I am deeply emotionally connected to all the things I see, to all the people I know, and to my patients. That is why I feel. That is what drives me everyday. That's where my passion came from.

I am so predictable, yet so difficult to understand I know.

Saying things and informing things doesn't make things easier. It just makes the transition smoother. Telling a family member that their loved ones are dying doesn't make it easier for them. It makes it easier for the person who is telling.

Just like telling me you're unable to come. It doesn't make it easier for me. It just makes it easier for you to say, hey I already told you that.

Yeah I understand the situation, but I don't think the insight is there to realize the big picture and the big problem. Me, I have the insight but not the will to fulfill or inform to guide to the right path.

Me? I am disappointed in myself because I am not able to fulfill what is expected of me.

I am not able to make the one I love understand.

I am disappointed that my absence from someone's life will not make any difference at all. I probably thought too highly of myself, as usual.

For the first time in my life, I finally feel like. Please. can someone show me the light and tell me what to do. I've tried everything I know but I still can't solve this problem as I am still too much blinded.

I also know, the longer this lasts, the more blame it would be placed on me in the future no matter who started this. I also know I would be hated for something that was not started by me.

I pray that, I would be a wiser person. I pray that light would be shown on my path.

I just feel like, I am a stray fish that is gasping for breath and sometimes feels happy because a passerby threw me some bread. Passerby just threw some extra leftover bread from the remainings after feeding the aquarium.

How much more happiness can be sucked out from me?

How much more disappointments can I take?

I am tired of being redundant

I wish something can be done

Persistence

Somehow some things just choose to remain that way even though the future looks bleak.

Somehow sometimes I don't know why, I just seem to swallow and tolerate whatever shit that was given to me.

What does it exactly mean when you meet someone that can alter your emotions so drastically based on a single action?

I really do wonder how certain stories will unfold. And I am really curious as to how this story would unfold itself. Of course, I already know the outcome. Just how it twists itself would be the interesting part.

I don't believe in praying but, I wish every single one of us, all the 4 person, would achieve effortless and eternal happiness.

Mornings..

Am always looking forward to waking up in the morning receiving your text msg.. :)

Am happy for the honesty you showed me

Am thankful for coming into my life and making it colorful. The dark and grey colors makes the bright ones even more brighter.

Thank you trying to make my grey days bright. You may not feel it's of any use, but it means everything to me. I just can't express it at that moment.

I have learned so much from you.

I hope the time stops at the moment we're together.

Another wave of sadness

:'(. Pictures like this make my heart ache

Holiday and Shopping

AAhhhhhh I am currently in London. Can't stop thinking of my beloved ones back home and also friends and colleague who are currently in Malacca having the induction and starting work real soon..

Anyway, just got back from a trip fully planned by my beloved sister which was fanttabulous!!!!! A-mazing. I saw so much, learnt so much, walked so much, aannnnnddddd SHOPPED so much!!!!!!

GOSH!!!

1. Countless tops (tops from H& M, Barcelona etc

2. 1 long champ handbag(proud of myself for only purchasing one bag so far hehehe!! :D)

3. 4 pair of shoes(1 wedge from ugg, 1 flats from zara, 1 heels from clarks, 1 heels from poetic license london- I think I have gone absolutely mad)

4. 3 dresses( 2 from H&M 1 from Morgan)

5. 1 pair of jeans

6. 3 perfumes(1 britney spears, 1 flora gucci, 1 bvlgari)

7. books from museums and gifts from museums

8. Countless shirts for souvenirs

I lost track of my accounts after the 3rd day here.

And I am gonna spend another 8 more days in LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG~~~

Broke and unemployed.