Sunday, July 17, 2011

Another day

I can feel it coming. Early awakening. Increased sleep.

I am grateful that I still have a place to spill my feelings.

However unimportant I am, however insignificant my thoughts and feelings were, at least here I am able to dictate what I say or do.

I wish things can be fairer.

I wish I didn't have to feel this way about a good news. Because it makes me feel evil and I dont like that.

I want to know. What is the purpose of giving this test to me. To test my durability? I know I will see it in the future. The reason why all these right now is so hard.

Whatever it is, I hope one day, it will all be okay. Please let it be ok. Please. I don't think i have begged or wanted something so badly that I can lower my pride and beg so much for something like this.

This is not me.

I miss my confident self. Everything is gone. My confidence, my pride, my wisdom. Please let me win it back.

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