letting go

I've decided to let you go

Think I was in denial.

You actually couldn't be bothered anymore

Just that am holding on to every small one word text thinking you still care

I've tried my best i believe

Reality is, no matter how nice a person i am, there's a line between being nice and just pathetic

have crossed that line months ago

Time to let go

Imaginary boyfriend

I feel like I am seeing an imaginary boyfriend

He's not with me

He doesn't text me much

He doesn't even seem to miss me

He doesn't even seem to want to see me

worse ever urti

This is like the worse ever URTI i ever had.

Sigh. Am glad i went to work today and was chased out by Mr. F

went home feeling a bit woozy and dizzy and had a fever(again ) in the afternoon

Is it me, or is it the spark dying away?

He's just busy right

I know I shouldn't compare, but.. there used to be sparks in my previous relationships.

hmmmm scratch that

well my first relationship, i've totally screwed that up. Plenty of spark there

Second was a total wrong relationship. which reminded me. he has never attended an actual public even with me. not once. well, of course I know why

Should I give this relationship a chance?

Rational me? Yes!

So what if he hasn't asked when am going back to KL? obviously I would tell him if I am

He's obviously busy now and making a career for himself

So what if he isn't always romantic and cheesy and sweet? at least he's mine. As far as I know.

I have to stop thinking about unnecessary things

If it works it works

If it doesn't ? oh well

undecisive

i can't decide about bandung

i can't decide about which room to get

I'm feeling nervous about my decision to accept the offer

i'm feeling nervous about my mrcs part b results

fuck it

I did it again

i did the break up thing again :(

and turned it all over again

sigh

all he replied was a sweet message saying enjoying a few secs of wifi to send a bisou from Makassar, night bus booked for Toraja departing soon, bisons :-)

sigh

after all my ranting

I am happy he replied

But I am not happy that he ignored my discussion

Do i really want to invite this man to my life?

before i embark on the lifelong journey of becoming a surgeon?

R really did gave me a perspective. She told me he's being selfish. I realise how right she is

1036pm

when am i gonna stop feeling sorry for myself

why did u ask me to be your gf when you have absolutely no time for a relationship?

i am so sad :'(

the happiness was short

still sad

it's 10.16 pm
still nothing
i said good night

i am so sad

And i can't even cry

why didn't you try harder to see me?

:'(

what happened to my baby

what happened to him?