Small accidental references

sometimes those small reference that was made to remind me of his past

i know, the past is the past. but every time those reference was made, accidentally, made me realised, perhaps that was why he fell for her

Sometimes small minor questions just irritates and seemed so unnecessary. Perhaps it's better to just remain silent and forget about it

I wonder why

to move to another country to be with someone is a huge, huge step

I find it super scary and super risky

came across some posts that indicated life after moving to that country isn't great

Suddenly am worried.. what if the same thing happened to me ?

what if I turned crazy too?

Sigh.

It's also not helping that he didn't reply

:'(

Scared

Unfair

Life is just so unfair sometimes right?

you think you planned everything before hand

and have a great deal of discussion

but in the end of the day everyone is selfish

no one would care if you have sacrificed for them

Alone

in the end i feel completely alone

no one actually cares how i feel

I'm stressed about the leave application.

cos the flight ticket is like half my pay check

I don't think i can change the flight ticket, if i do i probably have to pay the whole amount again. which is the total pay

Not that I care about money all that much, sadly my credit card is maxed out and i have to pay rent and pay for my exams

sigh

stop complaining glowing wine

In the end, only this blogs listens. no one at work cares, and other people just get irritated listening to these petty leave problems

am alone in the end anyway

stand up tall and strong

Leave application

How could applying for leave be such a stressful process ?

why every time i asked for leave it became such a huge hassle?

plus it was preplanned so early!

sigh :'(

n the only person I could vent to got irritated :(

What am i supposed to do?

Baileys is the answer

post break up

so apparently after not hearing from me for 5 days.. you decided to just break up with me

apparent schedule incompatibilities

no better explanation even

and after asking for more explanation, you threatened to block me

and then out of the blue

you just blocked me on fb too

I thought I have fear for marriage

but now..

I even have fear for relationships

someone could just come into your life, take your heart away, break it and just disappear.

I don't wanna give my heart away anymore.

maybe we'll be friends? you sound like I'm a little puppy dog waiting to be your friend.

You want my friendship? earn it. Good bye

just realised i could have let go 2 weeks ago

3 times

I've gone home

but u r still too busy to see me, not in KL

so which girl should I be?

The nice me : he is busy, I should be the understanding gf

The logical realistic me: fuck off man

The answer seemed so clear

and when I've decided to move on he comes creeping in.

oh I'm busy

and, oh

apparently me adding his friends on fb is checking on him

you know what? fine i'll delete the request

I don't give a shit anymore

I wanna stop thinking something is wrong with me

in my previous relationship, that guy, kept making me feel like everything was my fault.

now that i am out of it with a clear perspective, i am not sure how did i concluded that when we had arguments it was my fault

anyway, this is the last straw. am gonna stop making effort cos i've done enough, even came to a whole new level of pathetic i think

i deserve some respect

i'd rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't care, or love me, let alone respect me.

and btw p/s i wasn't even thinking that adding fb friends is a way of checkin on someone, that is not my style and seriously if you think so.. it freakin turns me off