unfair and sadness

I am actually crying. Seriously.

Hate myself. My omegaklcc leo club has won top club. and top treasurer, whereby my boyfriend was outstanding treasurer. He did not go to meetings. I was the one always insisting on going. had to practically force him to go. And when I was the treasurer, our club was disqualified. I know I have always been lucky, and I am grateful for that. Actually this is just a very unsignificant thing. but I am very very disturbed by it. Could be probably due to the insecurities I am still having about the United States Clerkship application. I don't knnow if I will get, I still want to have an outstanding National thing to put on my Curriculum Vitae. I know my boyfriend will probably need it more that I do. But i felt i was unfair, as when i became the treasurer, i started from scratch as the previous treasurer gave me a bunch of rubbish accounts. After organizing everything, even though he took over my job, there weren't much done and i was the one always pushing it.

I am being so bitter and irritated. I know worse scenarios has happened to other before. but i felt really, really upset. I am waiting to find a day where someone will be my saviour. or the day where I can really, really practise what i preach, helping without expecting anything at all. literally.

Crying

Day 5

Sigh. Fail badly. My housemate woke and i slept back

Day 4

Woke up at 7 am, off all my alarm clocks(my phone, the large loud alarm clock, the laptop alarm) and went back to bed

awaken at 7.30am by CL my housemate. Thanks so much CL!

sigh i should be more disciplined.

Day 3

Woke up when doorbell is rang by my first student at 8.30

Don't know what happened to the stupid alarm clock from the phone.

Day 2

Have obviously miserably failed on the mission.

Woke up at 11.

Late for everything, a miserable train wreck

Research

I am OVERJOYED!!!!

there's a significant improvement in members participating in the wiki group. p value is less than 0.05 and there's no improvement in members doing self study, p value is more than 0.050. Can you believe it??????

Initially when D J was helping me with the results, I weren't sure even though the p value is obviously significant. I was quite reluctant to believe. 

Later, thanks to Dr. LNM.. he helped determining if the value that was generated is genuine. And he said,  you are one lucky person. I am over over , OVERJOYED!!!! the research is significant..!! I am so happy that i smiled all the way back from seremban to kepong. Not even bothered about my left eye pain. I am too happy to study for paeds exam next fri. wanna complete the results and show prof. SK YAYYYYYYYYY!!!

Dislikes

I hate people who make suggestions that they themselves can't fulfill.

Hate people who says they'll buy something and then forget about it. Why does people need constant reminder?

Hate it when people say, you should do this this this. I mean, I didn't even ask for the opinion. I'm like, huh, I will make my own decisions, Can you do it? Mind your own business lah. and trust me, I do ask for opinions and respect those who can give me constructive critism without worrying whether they'll hurt me or not. and I can take those opinions. Just hate it when I already have something I wanna do in mind and someone who hasn't have any experience just butt in and open their big mouth. HATE THAT!